


I would have loved you anyway

by Naughtyavengers



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, POV First Person, Public Blow Jobs, Soulmates, Thorin needs Dwalin, True Love, dwalin needs Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 12:44:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5540513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naughtyavengers/pseuds/Naughtyavengers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwalin's and Thorins love story told by Dwalin</p>
            </blockquote>





	I would have loved you anyway

There are a lot things that I don't know and still don't know but one thing I knew is that Thorin is or more was my Azyungisimunuh (( my everlasting love)) … From the moment i met Thorin I knew that he would be my one and that I would be be by his side until my dying breath . Thorin was my childhood friend who i would spend countless hours with playing and training . As we grew up and our bodies began to change my feelings towards him did as well . I would spend hours in my room with him on my mind and my hand down my pants . That's all I knew I could have and keep my feelings at bay cause He won't want me ...I was too tall with a Mohawk .... Thorin was third line to the kingdom of Erebor with amazing blue eye and dark raven hair that i longed to run my hands through . I knew we couldn't be together and I tried to distance my self from him because I couldn't not love him if he couldn't love me back but i try as I might I couldn't hide anything from my best friend.  
One day after training He confronted me by pushing me against a nearby wall in the halls of Erebor and demanded to know what was wrong with me and why I was avoiding him. I replied that I was just busy and i tried to walk past him . Thorin grabbed ahold of me and kissed me deeply and ask if that was what was bothering me because that’s was what was bothering him. It was my first kiss ever and it was with him. I can still taste the sweet ale on his lips.

It would be in ererbor we would lose each other Innocent i remember i had been training all day and as I was getting changed I glanced over to see his eyes on my body and how he walked over to me . "I can not wait .I need you son of Fundin ." I had my doubts about touching the heir like that but than he wrapped his arms around me and pushed his hard cock against me, " I want you Dwalin."  
All my doubts washed away and when he brought me to his chambers and looked at me like I was the best thing he'd ever seen . Me! a poor guard had the Prince of Erebor looking at me like i held the world. You can't began to imagine what that did to me ...the prince of Erebor wanted me just as much as I wanted him. 

That night My Thorin kissed every inch of my body, it was the sweetest torture my body had had ever felt and when his finger slipped in with ease , I remember arching my body and begging for it to end or continue that how good it felt but It was nothing compared to his cock that slowly teased at my entrance , " Thorin I ....I ....do it!" I can hear myself saying but the little brat didn't listen no he gave a cocky grin and continued to move his swollen head against my entrance until finally HE couldn't take it anymore and pushed in. Sweet Mahal nothing as felt it ever will feel that good My body still reacts when I think about that night. Even now as I write this I can feel my cock stirring in my breaches. When we found our release mine all over our stomachs and his deep within me. we vowed never to leave each other side. I was so happy and so was he .....Smaug would come three months later.  
_____________________________________________

From that moment on Life would never be the same for us . The prince that I had come to love was gone and replace was a dwarf I didn't know but came to know as Thorin. He didn't smile or laugh to consume with helping his people, which was admiral but when I tried to bring him out to have fun He would aways say he couldn't and no matter how much I begged him to leave the worries for one night he would not. Of course I was by his side every step of the way even when he told me that he didn't love me anymore and I cried myself to sleep that night. We still would have sex with each other when he need an release and I was happy to give it to him but the love was gone. But occasionally my thorin would come back when he was at his weakest and just need someone to take it all away. On those nights he would come knocking on my door his cloak over his head like he didn't want his people to know how weak he was and i would answer the door every time mostly because i wanted desperately to believe that things hadnt change and my Thorin was back. The second I opened the door He would step inside pulling down his cloak those piercing blue eyes filled with unshed tears. With a trembling hands he would reach out for me. " I can't do this ." He whispered like a defeated man. He knew i was the only man that won't hold it against him , my prince was allowed to have his moment of weakness , was allow to break down at my door . I would wrap my arms around him , " you don't have to be so strong. You can have this with me and tomorrow you will be strong . Cry in my arms Thorin. I am here ...I will aways be here." The tears would fall down his cheek until he was done, the entire time I held him. Like clockwork He would tell me that he missed me. I knew that moment would come and as he reach out to touch me and i would melt right there on the spot. I had my own weakness and he was in my arms. His hand would come up to caress my cheek and pull me into the kiss. “ Dwalin …i love you .. please .” how could i say no to that? I should have told him no that we shouldn't but I would kiss him back with just as much passion that he needed. We would stumble back to my bed on those night i would either ride his cock my head thrown back as I felt him hard inside or most often Thorin would open his legs wide for me. “ i need your cock… Dwalin … i need to forget” and i would give him just that. His arms wrapped around my back while my cock slammed hard into him harder than necessary yet to him it wasn't hard enough , when he found his release and was emotion drained the tears came back. He cried for everyone and everything that he lost until he couldn't , We would fall asleep in each others arms. Come morning I would find him at the foot of my bed his head in his hands, I watched Thorin as he got dress and said that we shouldn’t have done that. I would agree with him like the good soldier but when he came knocking i would open that door and repeat it every time because I needed him just as much as he needed me.  
_____________________________________

The battle of Azanulbizar would change all of Us none as much Thorin . He lost everyone that he held dear and came back a broken dwarf that couldn't get put back together and Mahal knows I tried but there were missing pieces that I never found. 

 

I remember that day like it was yesterday, from the moment we step onto that battle field we were out numbered. There we're too many of them and wave after wave came And even I I thought the end was near and was just fighting until I would feel that final blow and why not ? I saw my father get slain before my eyes and my brother was no where to be seen And Thorin had left my sight a long time ago ......

Despite all of this and the fact the odds were against us Thorin never give up even when others around him did . He continued to fight and rallied us for one final push and somehow mahal shined on us....it was a dim light but enough to win . so many were slain and no victory feast was held that night not when dead were beyond count. I walked the battle field I was beyond Exhausted , all I wanted was a bath and rest but than I heard it a wail that still haunts my dreams. At first I didn't know who had cried liked that and as I rushed over I saw Thorin holding his brother's head in his lap Prince Frerin had long gone cold but Thorin held onto him brushing his hair back from his face and begging him to come back. I watched as he tore a piece of cloth from his dirty clothing and went about washing Frerin face. There was nothing I could do but sit there, Frerin Was gone and I couldn't help him but Thorin seems not to realize that or more didn't want to face the truth , with my hand on his shoulder .He looked up at me his eyes red with tears "he isn't gone." He said Like it was a fact i nodded , "aye ." After a nearly an hour on Thorin holding Frerin I stood up and whispered , " come on ...we need to ..."

"No ...we can't ...i can't! he will be cold. I need to keep him warm." He held on for dear life until I had to forcefully remove him, " no ...no." He called out when I pulled him away , only when I had got him away from Frerin did he realize that his only brother was gone. He looked at him with this horrid look on his face when it dawned on him. I waked over and wrapped my arms around him. " he is gone ....My baby brother." He cried on my shoulder until his knees gave out from under him, a caught him before he reached the ground, I would always catch him. Many saw Thorin collapse but none said anything It was the only time they had seen weakness from their now king. That night I held him in my arms with his head on my chest with my fingers running through his hair the new King sobbed softly in my arms, " don't you leave me. Dwalin you are all I have left. "  
_____________________________________________  
I was there when he was handed his newborn Nephew, for the first time in so long Thorin had a smile on his face. " Fili. Abnâmul" He said to the newborn followed by another word in Khuzdul that I didn't hear I wasn't suppose to that was between nephew and Uncle. I was about to leave the new Family when Thorin grabbed my arm and turned to look at the little blonde hair prince. "say hi to your Uncle Dwalin." I looked at Dis who nods her head and speaks ," you are just as much as part our family."  
Thorin handed my the little baby Boy and when I look down his blue eyes look up. "he has the Durin blue eyes." And he does those bright blue eyes .  
But that's all that he would share with his uncle for little Fili turns out to be more Like Dis with her patient and kind heart. Like all line of Durin he was very brave and he would do thing without question .  
Kili who would come five years was a mini Thorin right down to his temper. When the boy did something and Thorin would get mad at something when he did the very same thing when he was younger. He would look at me for reinforcements with his unruly nephews .

 

One of my favorite memories was when Fili came running to me house screaming that Thorin was going to kill them. The little blonde prince had a this wild look like he honestly believed it ...I know that they probably did something and Thorin was just venting his frustration , after all he had them for two solid weeks when Dis and Vili went on a trades mission or so they said. I think they needed a vacation.  
Fili took my hand and dragged me to their house saying that Kili was already dead. I opened the door to the house and was immediately dragged to the pantry and sweet Mahal I will never forget the sight Thorin the might hero of the battle Azanulbizar, our might king looked a drowned rat. The entire pantry was destroyed and flooded , hell we could put a fish in there and it would live happily . I don't know how they did that but They did . Thorin gave this 'thank Mahal' look, I don't think he has ever been more grateful for me being there, He handed me a mop and went to grab another when he lost his footing and slipped , Mahal help me but it was the funniest thing To see Thorin go flying his Feet in the air when he landed in the water with a splash, I had to walk away before I burst out laughing . It took half the night to dry everything off and get it clean and When the boys went to bed after it was cleans and Thorin gave out their punishment , we sat on the back pouch, he thanked me for Helping me but not before Smacking me upside the head for laughing when he fell. 

When they grew up I was in charge of training along with Thorin and I was in awe at them and when Kili picked up a bow I convince Thorin to let him keep it. Hell he hit the target from 20 meters away. I loved those boys as though they were my own.…  
__________________________________________

 

I would be the first person he came to when he decided that he would retake Erebor. I was in my kitchen when he came bursting in with a look that I hadn't seen. His blue eyes were wide and bright as he spoke both in English and Khuzdul like he couldn't decide which to speak he was that excited. i had my doubts but kept them to myself because he was my king..My friend ....and sometime when he needed it my lover . I Had to believe the lie that we could actually win. i can still see him running about my house with his hands in the air as he told me just how he would retake it and that the filthy dragon would fall at his feet. I know we could with an army maybe and nothing less. He said he would talk to Dain when I mention just that and hurriedly grabbed my hand pulling me to my bedroom, that night he ride me like a stallion his raven locks covering his sweaty his face his hand sprayed out on my chest , his blue eyes locked into my brown until the pleasure got to great for him and he threw his head back cumming untouched all over my chest. I held on for a few more minutes but the clenching around my cock and look he gave me like I held his whole world in my hands . I couldn't remember the last time he gave me that look? It had to be back in Erebor but that look had me cumming deep within him and when I was spent I pulled him close as our breaths evened out. " I love you Dwalin." He whispered into my chest, all could do was nod and say, " aye me too"  
___________________________________________  
i was first one at the hobbits house...a hobbit ! Who thought that a tiny hobbit who passed out at the thought of a dragon would be good companion? I was proven wrong time and time again just how much we needed Bilbo yet at the that the time I saw him someone that I had to watch out for. I didn't have time for that but Gandalf the mighty wizard said that we need him held my tongue he said he would be a value asset to the journey. I remember glancing over to Thorin , he was nervous Many didn't know that look i did I've had seen it many times through the years, he had when he first rode a pony , he had right before the battle of Azanulbizar He was afraid but the second he saw me looking His face went back to the stern Face "nothing bothers me" look that was Thorin but it was too late I had seen it. I go out for air and he follows me He grabs my arm and told me not to say anything about him being afraid that the men didn't need to know that their Leader was afraid , " Thorin do you honestly think I would ?" i said with a sighed and smiled briefly he brushes his hand against mine and lend forward as if to kiss me but quickly pulls away when a hobbit walks by, the young female hobbit raises an eyebrow at us but says nothing maybe its because we are two male dwarves we Leave the shire the next day and into the great wide open with nothing more than a map, a key, thirteen dwarves , a wizard and a Hobbit.  
__________________________________________  
I thought that i lost him when He jumps from that tree to fight Azog all by himself, sometimes Thorin has to be the hero and doesn’t think. this was one of those times i try to get him but the tree breaks underneath me, i watch helplessly as Azog goes in for the kill. i look away because i can not see my love get killed but The little hobbit Jumps to his rescue and takes down a warg! I would thank him later for saving him, the hobbit brushes it off as nothing but i don’t think he realize what Thorin means to me or what he did. We land on over look and for the first time i see the lonely mountain, i see our home and it actually looks like we might make it. 

 

that night after we set up camp i get up to relieve myself, i lend against a tree when i hear a noise i don’t move because i know those steps, Thorin emerging from behind a tree and doesn’t say a word while he push me against a tree, his kiss is hard and brutal, i think he needs to know that he is alive and that i am here. “ i love you…. I never want to lose you. don’t ever do that again.” He kisses me and Promise me that he won’t… I actually believe him… He than got down on his knee and told me that would be lost without me He takes off one of his rings and presented it to me , “this is all i have….but please will you marry me? “ I have waited 170 years for him to say this to me , He takes me hand before i even answer him , he knows my answer He has always known my answer. He slips the ring on my finger. “ Dwalin don’t ever leave me.” 

“aye i won’t .” 

He reaches up to undo my belt, i try to stop him , “ we can't you are hurt” 

“ we have to consummate this…. “ He says like it's a fact and when it's a fact in thorin’s book it’s impossible to stop him. His quick nimble hands make fast work of my lacing and before i know it i am out to the world. Maybe it was because we are officially Engaged but i am harder than i’ve ever been in my life that or that fact Thorin is on his knees in a dense forest with the company so close. i look down at him while his hand strokes my cock from root to tip, “ you are beautiful. “ He whispered while licking his lips and with a cocky smile Slips the head of my Cock past his lips. My head falls back against the tree with a loud thunk, it should have hurt but i can’t bring myself to care not when Thorin’s mouth is sliding so perfectly along my cock, my hands run through his raven locks as his blue eyes locked onto mine, i cum down his throat in no time. That would be our last time together. 

 

______________________________________

 

i knew something was wrong the second we stepped foot into that mountain, truthfully i saw way before, when he didn’t stay behind with Kili when that boy was practically his son, he loved those boys more than he loved himself and yet he left him to possibly to die. I ask him when He approuched him and ask if he thinks Kili is okay, he keeps on walking like he didn’t hear me. That wasn’t my thorin …. and When he didn’t care about Bilbo when he was alone with the dragon i knew it . Something was very wrong with him…. i didn’t say anything … i don’t know why…. i still don’t….. Maybe Thorin was my blind spot…when he got fixed on that Arkenstone i spent hours in that treasury looking for him. i hope that once he had it he would be alright and we would get married and live happily ever after. i go to him to tell him that it isn’t found…. He accused me of taking it and that all ive ever wanted was his ass so i could steal his throne. He tells me that he never loved me and our whole life was a mistake. I swallow down my tears and tell me we will keep on looking but as the days dragged on and on i notice that He didn’t eat or sleep all he did was spend countless hours in that pile of gold. I keep an eye on him from a distance because like the coward i knew i was i didn’t say a word. I wanted to pull him aside and screamed at him until he came back but i was to afraid. afraid of what he would say to me again…. those words were not his but still they stung ….. I guess i wasn’t the great warrior i believe i was cause i sat there and watched when Thorin threaten to kill Bilbo.. .BIlbo who gave his all for a home that wasn’t his, nearly died for us for thorin and thorin was willing to kill him for taking that Arkenstone. But as it happened i stood and did nothing

_____________________________________________  
it only when i heard the cries of my Kin that i knew i had to do something. i marched down the altar right to that throne i hurriedly said those words before my nerve gave out, he looked at like he didn’t know what i was talking about and that Gold must be moved. “ did you not hear me?” i cried out to the shell of the dwarf i loved with all my heart, he blankly looked at me told me many die in war but this treasure like this can’t be counted in lives lost. this would break me because my thorin would think so lightly of his own people, the thorin i knew would lie down his life. i speak in angry but mostly sadness as i accused him of being lesser king than he ever been. He tells me that not to speak to him like he was still Thorin Oakenshield.. i wish he was. i wish he was my thorin and not this mad Dwarf, He swings his sword at me and threaten to kill me, for a brief moment i see his clear blue eyes as he tells me to leave. I truly believe he warns me because he knows he can’t control himself and he won't be able to live with himself if he hurt me. I know that i couldn’t bring myself to harm him. I would just stand there as he drove the sword into my heart.  
i leave the throne room and walk just far enough away before i dropped to my knees and burst into tears. I cry for Thorin and i cry for my helplessness . I cry until i can’t anymore but just was about to give up I see my Thorin walking to me that accursed long cape and crown gone. He walks up to me his head hung low and he tells me that He can’t begin to apologize for his behavior, i pulled him close and tell him he doesn’t have to, that i knew my king was in there. He cries on my shoulder until there is nothing left but shaking dwarf cling to me with his head on my shoulder. I hold him close and run my hands through his hair, something that always seemed to calmed him. He pulls aways from my arms and kissed me lightly on my lips, “ there was only one for me… My Azyungisimunuh ...my Dwalin ....i promise when we reclaim this kingdom… i will make you My Prince Consort. ” i want to believe him and the look on his face tells me that he does. He kisses him one last time and ask me to come with him to talk to the company. 

___________________________________________  
we ride into battle and to tell you the truth it’s all a blur. All i can remember is fighting with all i had but it wasn’t enough. Fili …..Kili…..Thorin all died right before my eyes. the people i swore to protect was now dead…i can’t…i can not think about it…  
Today we will bury my Azyungisimunuh …. today i will say goodbye to only person i’ve ever loved or ever will love. Thorin is on a cold stone and i want to keep him warm, he is so cold. I can’t get him warm…why can’t get him warm??? The ring he gave me is still on finger when He promise me forever, but he didn’t keep his promise. I didn’t say goodbye and i don’t think i can … I can’t eat or sleep … all i dream about is him. when i close my eyes i see him … I was ask by Balin to write this and so here it is …. he says it might help i don’t know. i feel numb … he was my reason to live and breath… I knew that no matter what Thorin would be here ...He will again...I don’t know who to turn to… He would be the one i would talk to…. But even if I knew how it would end… if somehow I was given the book of our love and I read the last page first and know this would happened ....if know i would feel this pain….i would loved him anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the grammar mistakes :( ...I tried to fix them and if anyone would like to beta I would so grateful :)


End file.
